For the first day’s challenge, I needed to reach out and ask people: ‘What are my 3 biggest strengths?’ and ‘What do you admire most about me?’
In the first instance, I decided I would just message my brother and sister and then ask my partner as soon as he got home, but then I realised I was choosing the easy way with this challenge. So instead, I posted the task on my social media stories and asked people to send me their answers in a message. Here’s my reflection on this challenge:
‘How did you feel before asking people and after you’d received their feedback?’
I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone with this challenge by posting it to my Instagram stories ( wasn’t quite brave enough to also share it to Facebook), so I felt incredibly anxious putting myself out there and asking people to compliment me- it felt completely icky! I am a MASSIVE people pleaser and care waaay too much about what others think of me, so I was really worried about the responses I would get back or that no one would be able to think of any positives for me.
However, when I started receiving some replies and people were saying such lovely things about me, I was really overwhelmed and actually started crying- happy tears though! It was really nice to find out that people are seeing all these good qualities in you, that you are constantly striving to be.
‘What are your key takeaways and learnings from the positive feedback you received?’
My first reflection on the feedback I received was that I am not actually a mind reader, I’m not psychic, and all those times my thoughts were telling me that people don’t like me anymore and will be thinking of me in a negative way, were completely fabricated by my anxiety and depression. Your mental illness tricks you and convinces you so often that you are worthless, that no one loves or cares about you and you are this horribly, awful person, that you really start to believe it about yourself, so receiving such lovely, positive feedback really helps to break through that noise and give you the perspective to be kinder about and to yourself, knowing that your mental illness is lying to you.
Your mental illness also makes you believe the thoughts about the way others perceive you. You try so hard to change their perspective by showing them all the good qualities you want to be known for and doing everything in your power to make others happy and please them. But the second lesson I’ve learnt from this exercise is, that’s totally unnecessary and a waste of my time and energy- I don’t need to always be trying so hard to please others and my worth doesn’t need to be found by looking for reassurance and validation from others. I now know that others are able to see the good in me, my better qualities and my strengths- I now need to work on recognising and celebrating the positives about myself, and start learning to love those great qualities I have and like myself a little bit more, just as I am.
‘Who did you reach out to and what did they say?’
Initially, I just messaged my brother and sister- my brother didn’t reply (typical!) and my sister said she would get back to me later in the week, so will edit once I hear back from her- but then I decided to take to Instagram and posted the challenge on my stories.
Response number 1 came from one of my cousins:
Strengths- you never give up; you’re smart and talented; and you’re funny.
What I admire most about you- you practically know all the words to ‘The Lion King’ 😂 (it is a very special talent of mine haha!) (…also, best movie ever made!)
Response number 2 came from my other cousin, her brother:
Strengths- you’re hardworking; your creativity (which came as a surprise, because I don’t really see myself as being very creative, but we were always baking and doing different arts and crafts, when he came over to visit); and being nice.
What I admire most about you- your generosity.
Response number 3 came from my best friend:
Strengths- you’re intelligent; you’re kind; and you’re supportive.
What I most admire about you- your courage and motivation. You have no idea how far you have come and I think that needs to be said ♥️♥️ (this was the reply that made me cry!)
Response number 4 came from my boyfriend/bestie:
Strengths- you’re good at planning…well you make a lot of lists; you’re intelligent; you’re very eloquent.
What I admire most about you- you have really good empathy.
So I now challenge you: what do you feel are your biggest strengths? What quality or talent do you like most about yourself? Or maybe you could message someone and brighten their day, by letting them know what you think their strengths are and what you admire most about them? Let me know your responses in the comments!
Me, Mental Me & Mindful Me 